AmazingMess

Before you all tell me that this is not an accurate word, I know, but I think we should make it one!

"I don’t have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect, and beautiful journey of my life.” Kerry Washington

I am not going to lay claim to the creation of this word. One of my friends the other day decided to use it when describing another friend and myself, and I immediately decided how much I loved it and how it explained how life is meant to be.

I always thought my mess would be too much for others to handle, and if I was honest, sometimes it was too much for me. I tried to hide the mess from the world, those big and little things that someone had mentioned were no good, or I thought that society would not like to see. I was very good at deleting some stuff from my story, hiding from the truth, and adapting to be a version of myself that I thought other people would want to see a perfect performance.

Carrying around my perfect suit of armour was tiring and, at times, so hard to maintain that I was crushed under the weight of it. Initially, this was easy, but over the years, the armour and the real me blended to the point that sometimes I didn't know what was real or who I was meant to be. Playing on the sidelines, never getting 100% involved, was the easiest way not to get caught up.

Perfection is hard to carry around. I was always thinking about what I needed to do and who I needed to be now. At work, at home, with friends, with family and in relationships.

It's great to strive for things, but for perfectionism, I don't think so.

When I reflect on my life and all my mess, I know that I would not be who I am without all those things, and I can see many unique events scattered around. By trying to hide my mess, I also dulled all the things that I was great at, all the things I did to help someone, and all the things I achieved. It was like these things didn't matter, as the mess would always overwhelm them.

We learn so much from our mistakes and the things that go wrong. Even though some of the mess was super difficult, those messes don't own me these days. They made me who I am, and I like the messy version today.

Bring on the AMAZINGMESS - Thanks for inspiring me, beautiful friend. This word is extraordinary and a true reflection of how everyone should look at their life, as without the messes, we don't learn, grow, and participate in this world. We fail to take risks and reach out to others; at the end of the day, all it does is dull our light.